“Too many of us aren’t living our dreams because we are living our fears.” –Les Brown.
Boom. Did you read that? I did. And I identified with that. And it reminds me of taking off last year and doing nothing to better myself. Sparingly eating right, drinking way too much, and not giving a shit about myself or my well being. I spent so much time last year living in my fears…fear of how I looked, how I acted, how I behaved, how I presented myself…that I stopped being me. I became this miserable little troll.
What are your dreams? I have so many dreams that it is hard to narrow down and prioritize my list. I know that I want to get back to that healthy place and be happy with myself when I look in the mirror, I want to start a family, I want to continue to grow professionally and push myself outside of my comfort zone, and I want to know that I am content with living in the present and being happy with the “now” of my life.
This brings me to the title of this blog entry…my “Gap Year.” I took a break from a lot. I took a break from myself. I became that person who said, “you know…I really don’t have 30 minutes in my day for exercise.” BULLSHIT. Everyone has 30 minutes in their day and whether offensive or not, it is your choice to implement that 30 minute period into your day if it is something that you want. We say we don’t have the time and then sit around and watch tv, go out for drinks with friends, sit on our phones for hours on social media. Everyone has the time. I have spent so much time of my life saying,
“I’m not good enough”
Well…breaking news…I am good enough. And so are you. If you are reading this and you are one of those “I don’t have 30 minutes a day for health and wellness,” then…I remember being you, I remember falling back into your habits, and I remember hating myself for it. It sucks to hate yourself. It sucks to hear a compliment and laugh at it or brush it off rather than embrace the compliment and truly smile and feel genuine happiness when someone compliments you.
I am making 2018 my year of “yet.” I haven’t achieved my goals…yet. And I am okay with that! This month I have lost 17 pounds and I am back to running longer distances. I am well on my way to achieving those goals. We cannot live in the negative and constantly be beating ourselves down when things don’t turn out the way we want them to or are not happy with the results because they are not the way we wanted them to happen.
I took a gap year from blogging. I took a gap year from running. I took a gap year from healthy eating. I took a gap year from loving myself and reminding myself every day that I matter. And I could sit here and say “don’t take a gap year, I would be so much further in my journey if I hadn’t.” But hell with that…I took the gap year and I learned a lot about myself. I learned that it is possible to love yourself, it is possible to get back on track, it is possible to achieve a lot even when you feel like your lowest. It is possible to climb to the top of the mountain and throw your hands up in sheer happiness because you’ve made it.
So here is to Sunday. I ran 5 miles this morning without stopping…I probably haven’t done that since 2016. But the universe is on my side. The universe wants me to be happy…because everyone deserves happiness. So whether you take a gap day, a gap month, a gap year, or you haven’t even started yet…it all starts when you make the first move and stick with it. I am 28 days into this “rejuvenation” and I couldn’t be happier. I am surrounding myself with people who love me, who want me to succeed, and who want to support me and in turn, I am able to do all of that for other those people.
As rock bottom as I felt last year in several portions due to several situations, I am happy that they all happened because it gave me light into my own life and helped me to be the person that I am today. A person that I love. And at the end of the day…that’s the most important thing.
Out with the old and in with the you.
If you read this…thanks for reading! I love the feedback, I love the messages and the stories that you share with me. If you need an accountabilibuddy…let me know because I am always here to help. You’re awesome. Don’t ever forget that.